Peel Off Your Mask!

I have been told by psychologists that personality traits of young children between the ages of three and six develop into lifelong patterns. These patterns then get reinforced by interacting with an environment that reflects and reinforces these traits. Or we could say: You build a mask and then grow into that mask. In another ten to fifteen years, you fully inhabit the mask. With collaboration from friends and family, it becomes the “real you.” But not quite. On some gut level, below the thinking mind, we know there is more to our being than the masks that hide our true selves. In the middle of the night, a gnawing low-level disturbance leaves us doubting our own authenticity, but often we just do not know what to do, and end up doing nothing.

The process of training the mind peels off the masks. We are not robots programmed to imitate ourselves; bubut we do not know how to use our creative reserves to let go of rote behaviors, even those that drive us crazy. Being defensive and uptight, lazy, irritable, or self-conscious — these behaviors are not in our DNA and do not have to continue their destructive influence. They can die before we do. We will survive the death of impersonating ourselves, and of wearing masks. We will not just survive, but flourish.

Yongey Mingyur
from In Love with the World; What a Monk Can Teach You About Living from Nearly Dying