They are Bad. Therefore, I am Good

I was able to see that every move I made, from a blink, to a breath, to buying tea, even to making negative projections all stemmed from a wish for a change, and that this desire was always oriented toward happiness. Judging someone for looking unclean or smelling bad, or being loud, or ANYTHING, is a pretty neurotic way to seek happiness — but it provides a toehold to climb up from and allows you to temporarily enjoy the illusion that you are better than someone else. It’s never just: “They are bad.” It is also: “Therefore, I am good.” I saw that even at my most walled-off, I was still longing to connect to my own true self and to others. Even the distortions and projections were tied to wanting to be free inside by pushing the negativity out of myself, away from me — all unskillful means for happiness, but the intentions were basically the same.

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
from In Love with the World; What a Monk can Teach You About Living from Nearly Dying